He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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