Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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