I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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