ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
