We're like a lot better than the average bears
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
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Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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