Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
