he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
