He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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