I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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