is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
