Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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