This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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