I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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