I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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