He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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