i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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