My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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