THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
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I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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