Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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