I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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