so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
