whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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