i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
