I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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