Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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