You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When did angry sex become our thing?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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