I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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