Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
someone owes me an orgasm
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
