Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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