I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
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Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
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I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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