This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
