Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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