I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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