I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
