yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
