..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
