I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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