she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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