was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
