I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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