you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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