Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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