Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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