there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The uberlube is also flammable
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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