So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
