You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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