I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
