Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Enjoy the penises
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
