Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I wish I could punch you in the face.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
