The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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