This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
