Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize