when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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