I think my fart just growled at me.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
