i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
