You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Nicole vs. Life
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
