I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
