Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
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I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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