How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
