I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize