These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize